It hurts to know that I’m probably not what you want anymore. I know I cant give you things other girls can, and I know I’m annoying. I know that I make you mad at times, but I really do love you. More than anything. But I just want you to be happy, and I feel like you’re just not happy with me. Maybe I am over thinking, but even so, if you’re not happy.. please don’t lead me on.. You recently said that you came back to me all those times because you felt that there is hope in us. Hope in me. But here recently, I’ve been so sad, and I can tell it’s upsetting you. I don’t want you to be upset. I want you to be happy. Tonight you asked me if I knew that you loved me so much, but I don’t know anymore.

because I just feel like there isn’t any love there. I know you have a hard time expressing your feelings through words.. but you use to make me feel loved by giving me attention. You use to always text me good morning, you used to always ask me how my day was, and you used to always call me before you went to sleep and talk to me for hours about non important things. Back then, I really did feel loved and needed. Now? I don’t even feel important.. You used to do all of these things, and I know you’ve gotten real busy here lately, but even when we talk when you’re not busy, you don’t see interested. I’m afraid that our love is fading. 9 months. Slowly disappearing as if it never existed. Maybe I’m over thinking things. That’s what you’d say. But then, two weeks, maybe three, you’ll text me and tell me that things between us aren’t working. I’ll be broken again. I’ll promise myself to never take you back. I tell myself it’s for the best, and that I need to move on. But the moment you tell me that you miss me, I’ll come running back gladly, extending my hand, only for I to happen again in a few short months. That’s what happened last time. No matter what I do, I can never move on from you. I can never not think about you. Because you are my happiness, I’m in love with you.. and it isn’t that puppy love type bullshit.. this is real.. so real..

why is it that the good people get screwed over..?

I know I should hate you. But I can’t. I’m stuck believing that you didn’t mean it. And that you truly love me. Every time I see or hear her name, I cringe.. But yours? My chest tightens and I want to see you right then and there. It shouldn’t be that way. I shouldn’t feel this way towards you. I’m still crazy about you. But, every time I see you, I can’t help but think about what you two did together. And about how you both kept it from me for so long. I thought every thing was perfect. I thought that my shit life was finally getting better. I thought I found someone who loved me, despite my flaws. Someone who wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. But I guess it was just a dream. I still love you.  just want this all to be a nightmare that I can easily end by just simply opening my eyes. It’s been almost a month since you’ve told me. A month. But, it happened so long ago. You waited months to tell me.. I don’t feel good enough anymore. I find myself ignoring a mirror any chance I can. I feel so gross. I feel that your feelings for me aren’t there anymore. I feel like you’re rethinking every word you said to me. Every time you look at me, I imagine you saying in your mind, “She isn’t what I thought she was. She isn’t what I want.” maybe I’m right though. Maybe that’s why you did it. You don’t want me anymore. But, maybe I’m wrong. You haven’t left yet. But, you will.

unregardless:

i honestly hate the way this generation treats cheating as if its some funny joke, its disgusting, if you cheat on your partner youre a fucking scumbag

doot:

So today in chemistry, my teacher was talking about our test that we’re going to have tomorrow and he was joking about us all failing. He happened to have pandora radio playing in the background and right at the moment the song ended and switched to mmmm whatcha sayyyy and I died omg